We Have a Website!
If you’re reading this, you already know that we launched the website which is a serious hit to the value of this post. I probably should have titled it “You’ll Never Guess What These Writers Launched? It Isn’t What You Think!” and let the clicks roll in by the thousands. We’d rather you read the stories we post though, to be honest.
That said, you’re here and you’ve clicked my click-repellent title so something about websites launching intrigues you. I can’t say I share your enthusiasm, but I suppose I should put something of interest here for the intrepid digital wanderer, such as yourself. So here’s a gem for you.
There was a time, many months ago, when we realized we absolutely could not proceed without a mission, a vision, an objective. We were a business venture and that is what business ventures need. We had to ask ourselves, what made us different? It wasn’t until we received this message from one of our lovely submitters and most fervent fans that we realized what our purpose for being was.
“You know I was not interested in supporting you. You’re a joke. And Canadian. I HATE CANADIANS. especially Canadian mags.
So fuck off and die. and I hope you get three bucks worth of heaven on your way to hell.
To be fair, that line about heaven and hell is pretty good. Much better than what the writer submitted, truth be told. So why share it? First, I doubt anyone is reading this. Second, this one individual has steeled my resolve to not only create a Canadian literary magazine, but to try and make it the best one ever. I want it to be so massive, so all-encompassing, that it is stocked in every bookstore, every doctor’s office, every supermarket, every university, every library, and on every toilet tank. I want it on every social media channel, in every Youtube ad, every pop-up ad, in the pages of every other magazine, in those obnoxious pre-trailer ads at movie theatres, under every pop bottle cap, in virtual reality, augmented reality, and other realities I’m currently unaware of. I want it tattooed on the small of every back. I want this magazine to be inescapable so that everywhere this writer turns they will feel its sticky maple syrup-soaked grasp tightening around their neck, the knowledge that they will never be published in the world’s greatest literary magazine haunting their every waking moment.
Why? Petty vengeance. That is our mission: petty, often passive aggressive, vengeance. That’s correct. We are creating this entire project to target one individual who slighted us. Canadians may be polite, but we are not to be crossed.
Now that we’ve established our mission like a real company, all we ask is that you take a minute to read and tell our writers if you like their stories. I guarantee you they do not hear this enough.
I can’t believe you made it all the way down here!