Lizzie Derksen
Something exhausting is in the air.
I’ve started drinking coffee in the afternoon
and I can’t even seem to make myself come.
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Something exhausting is in the air.
I’ve started drinking coffee in the afternoon
and I can’t even seem to make myself come.
Hey,
I’m feeling good, and I hope you are too.
I’ll just be blunt. You deserve an explanation.
I need you with me, Maddie. I cannot do this alone.
Here’s what you told me: You have a heart bigger than the state of Montana.
Read MoreWe rise from the earth toward each other, aching with desire. What is allowed? The tentativeness of first touches. Tell me what you want. I take your hand and place it. My young body. Your young body. The dew on us gleaming. Inviting, teasing.
Read MoreMonths after my mother’s death, years after cancer began the long, slow mastication of her body, she’s resurrected in my toast. Golden brown and singed, she appears without warning as I’m about bite the border of her crusty skull.
Read MoreIn the time it’d take to call you, the rains start pouring in Dubai. The TV screen turns black then blue then resumes telecast. Somebody says, “Historic event! Not comparable to anything documented since the start of data collection in 1949 – and that was before the UAE was established in 1971.” They cut to scenes of several layers of dark clouds, like the way it was dark under the blanket you and I pulled over our heads to escape Mamma’s beating.
Read MoreI confess, you rarely speak with confidence. You reply, I know. I’m terrified of traffic jams, the resulting pileups. But we all know how eloquent you can be and often are. With great eloquence comes great responsibility, you tell me, not spoiling a single syllable, not spilling an ounce of the ruby hibiscus tea you hold in your grasp.
Read MoreI do not know what it means
or of the blue station wagon
which carried us, kicking up gravel
over the hill, sun glaring menacingly
into our soft new faces.
Our parting was genetically predestined.
Two grandparents, my mother; my uncle’s
turned itself inside out at twenty-seven.
It took five years of GP appointments
and physio and scans to determine
that you were the reason I would wake
in the night with a wing of pain
amma cuts me fruit / uses this apology / tells me / i’m sorry / as if we’re always whole / amma
tells me / cue up bones / as if watching forensic anthropologists / heals all wounds / jevayala ye /
because coming to eat / erases earlier yells / queen’s necklace calls, mother / it’s saying / forgive
me / seven times / until i’m forgiven / amma hates that i love / (a boy from kerala)
If I could wish one thing
It would be to go to Costco with my parents
I called them today
They were there,
Shopping for broccoli and cheddar dishes,
Roast chickens en masse,
Telling me what they’d discovered
Losing each other in wonderment
Finding each other in the chip aisle